Friday, June 5, 2020

wedding ceremony of my society By Idris Tauheed

As you may know, Nigeria is a country with over 450 spoken languages. Therefore, I can only give a brief description of the wedding ceremony of my society, that is Nupe society.

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In my society and according to our culture and tradition, before a man approaches and proposes to a lady that he is planning to settle down with as his future wife; he must have known her very well for a long time or done a proper searching about her background and well behaviour. After all these being satisfied, it's a duty of a man to approach a girl and propose to her. She may decide to delay the man for the immediate feedback even if she is interested in him before she finally accepts him after she may have made a lot of enquiries about the man too if she doesn't know much about him.

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And within a short time of courtship; the man would then, present her to his parents whose duty is to also ask the girl if truly she is in love with their son and willing to join the family. If her reply is okay, the man's parents would then send a delegate of two to three members including the guy that had proposed to marry the girl to meet with the girl's family and let them know of the intention to seek their daughter's hand in marriage for their son. The selected delegates are usually involved the fiance's uncle, a messenger or witnessee (Ndalinna) and the fiance. The father if he is still alive or the uncle of the fiancee who would now call his wife to appear in the parlour to hear with her two ears of the issue brought before them after they would have welcome them with drinks. After much discussion, the parents of the fiancee may decide to ask them to come back another day again on a fix date until they sit down with their daughter or there call their child out to ask her, if she knows the (her) visitors and the man seeking her hand in marriage and finally discuss other related matters. After sometimes, If the man's family has a good reputation, they will be accepted and the girl will be asked along with her choice lover for the last time before her father and other relatives of the family for three (3) times to find out if truly they are in love with each other and ready to marry each other.

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With a good response and acceptance, following the buying of a ring to present to your lady if you so much wish to make it special though it's not part of our culture, then, the engagement arrangements after the man must have paid the dowry to his wife to be. The dowry or bride price is usually a certain amount of money that a man must give out to his lover whom he is proposing to make his wife soon and it varies from one place to another. If the man is so rich and so much in love with the girl, he can still pay the dowry above the specific amount being collected at a particular area. So, it has no limit and if you like you can pay ten million of Dollars but unlike Indians whose their culture demands that the lady will be the one to pay the bride price to the man she is willing to become her husband.

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On the wedding day, a night before the wedding day, the bride with her friends will sleep in the same room in which a small customized pot or calabash will be broken over the bride's head, then someone will make this sound "ayoyoyo yi" like three times or more. This sharp sounds of training voice usually attract other people from other compounds and the whole community at large to know that either someone has given birth to a new baby or there is a wedding ceremony taken place somewhere that day in the town. Also, it often attracts the attention of some local dancers with their drums and other instruments singing and dancing and putting the names of some rich people in presence in song so that they will spread them money. This local singers must appear from nowhere even without inviting them to the occasion.

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Around 2: 00 pm, a large group of people who are invited to the wedding with the bridegroom, his friends and other well wishers in attendance usually gather at the bride home's mosque or in the church if she is a Christian where the Chief Imam or Priest delivers a prayer, grace the occasion and join (wed) together the husband and wife with lots of witnesses who sat inside the mosque with the bridegroom while many others remain outside. Immediately after that, everyone will be served with enough food, meat and drinks. In the evening, the bride may decide to send for an Imam to admonish them usually in an open place with chairs and mats all over everywhere for people to sit down and make themselves comfortable.

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Others go for a short party and sometimes, a professional popular singer is invited to add more colour to the occasion before the bride is taken to her bridegroom's house the next day evening around 7pm where the main celebration take place for the all night.

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